REMAINING PRESENT WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH
It’s natural to feel alone when trying to endure tough times. Whenever that happens, try to remain present for yourself. You are in control, and you deserve the space to nurture yourself in tough moments, without the pressure to react or respond immediately. Give acceptance, love, and presence to yourself in times of deep feeling, when you need it most.
When we encounter obstacles in our path, our instinct is to escape or explain the situation to ourselves. We live in a culture where we run from emotion without first holding space for it, and it's natural for us to want immediate fixes. But there's another way to process pain: simply existing, immersed in our present experience, before letting it go and moving forward intentionally.
Observe what your natural response to adversity is. Oftentimes it is to react, speak out, hide, or invent justifications and reasons why this happened. We need to learn to stay with an emotion without the need to cultivate a story behind it.
Say someone hurts you emotionally, and you cry. Try to put the stories, judgments, and prescriptions on hold.
There will always be time to return later, reflect on the situation, and decide what needs to happen next. But before trying to think too much, allow yourself to feel safe and cared for in your own company. This is all about arriving, as you are, for your present experience. You only have that fleeting moment, when you are first crying, to feel and release your initial emotions with your tears. Be where you are, in your moment, real without the stories.
Skipping this step may lead to long-carried pain that resurfaces later. Often, we run from our emotions by cultivating stories to hold onto—reasons why this or that happened, or why we are reacting as we are. But deep inside, we are still raw and hurt. Only temporarily do stories soothe the ego, until the heart speaks again.
How might letting the heart speak first simplify the emotional process and lessen the repercussions? How might nurturing yourself first provide you with healing in times of hardship?
Take a pause when you reach any high emotion and simply be with it, existing alongside it, experiencing it. Can you find a state of equanimity, where you don't need to categorize it as good or bad? Take yourself out of a reactive state and into your present moment. Simply be human, feeling a natural emotion arising. Let it exist now so it won't be locked away and surface later.
This is about honoring times of deep feeling, taking the time to live your emotion. Breathe into and through it until you naturally come down to a neutral space where you feel level, and stable enough to move forward.
Most of the time, when we take this space for ourselves, we end up happier with our following responses. Instead of feeling panicked and confused, we feel grounded and confident. Whenever possible, we must allow ourselves the space to feel before we choose our next action.
For more inspiration on self growth topics, attend our free weekly Sisters’ Circles to connect and commit deeper to your healing journey.
